Eh, hello. It's me, Lee. From the Lee books. You know, the funny ones written by that author bloke, Keith Charters. Actually, it's his fault that I'm writing this. He said if I didn't he wouldn't write any more hilarious books about my hilarious adventures. So really, I'm doing this for you - so you don't miss out.
I suppose I could start by telling you a bit about myself.
I'm Lee. Well, if you haven't worked that out yet you must be daft, because I used my name twice in the first line. I have a little sister, Rebecca, she's 4 years old and a bit of a pain. I used to have a lot (well, okay, some) friends who'd come round to my house, but then she attacked them all, and even though they're all nearly 3 times her age they're scared to come round now. They don't know what to do about her. They can't fight back because she's young and small. Only Will comes round now. Rebecca likes Will, but then he sometimes brings her sweets as a peace offering. I don't blame him.
I live in a house. You probably guessed that because it's where most people live. Mine is ordinary, with all the usual rooms: toilets, bedrooms, a kitchen, a lounge...you know the sort of place. What's less ordinary are the people in it. Except me, of course, I'm normal. Unlike my Dad, who still wishes he could have been a rock star (he's actually an internal auditor...whatever that is) and my Mum, who works in an office doing...things. I'm not sure what. Organising things. Whatever people do in offices. She's not there all the time, she's at home sometimes being 'stressed out' by Rebecca. Well, mostly by Rebecca. I'm really good...sort of. Maybe I cause a little bit of stress, but not much. I'm sure it's the same with you: it's whoever else is in your house who is causing any trouble, not you. You see, we're alike you and me.
Right, I'd better not write too much or there won't be anything left for me to say next time. Keith's not paying me to write this, I'm doing it out of the goodness of my heart, to help him. I'll probably end up giving him more ideas and where will that land me? (In trouble, probably.)
In future blogs I'll tell you about the books I'm in. Also, I might tell you about my author at some stage, but don't mention that to him. It can be a surprise, heh heh. Oh no, I've turned into Creepy Kev from Lee's Holiday Showdown!
Bye for now.